I make the worst chicken. ever.
It's an unfortunate cross between something a pioneer mama in a covered wagon might have tied to a string to let her baby teethe on & old shoe leather. NOT "hand crafted in the mountains of Italy" Donald Pliner type of shoe leather- that would be an insult to Donald & WAY better tasting than my chicken. So we've nicknamed every chicken dish i make (with the exception of certain casseroles possibly laden with some kind of cream soup or cheese) "Julie's Chicken Jerky Surprise".
It's based on fear. Fear that my chicken will be undercooked & some kid will contract salmonilla or chickenilla or some kind of -illa & be forced to miss school. It's a shame, really, because chicken is an American dinner staple & as a familial unit, we are not that adventurous to branch out in the direction of , say, pork, fish or soy products on a regular basis. Thank goodness for Chick-fil-a - which we frequent & especially seem to crave on Sundays.
We (used to) eat A LOT of beef. Having a cattle rancher brother-in-law really pays off. We are currently the proud owners of 284 lbs. of completely pure, un-anti-biotic-ed. non-growth hormoned, anti-inoculated beef. Those may not actually be words, but i know she didn't have shots to get big & fat- she did it the old-fashioned way. I would say free-range, but i think that's a chicken term, still i swear I've seen Rich's cows freely grazing out in the pasture. Her name was "White" (she was a Charlais) & I feel guilty knowing she had a name so I (over) cook chicken more than anyone wishes i did. But, we did have to buy another freezer just to hold it all. It's huge. My garage looks like the scratch & dent corner of Sears & Robuck. There isn't even room in there for a chicken wing. Not that i could cook a chicken wing- or EAT a chicken wing. I prefer my chicken all cut up in non-recognizable parts in styrofoam trays. No legs. No wings. I find pieces of chicken with bones reminiscent of things that once flew or ran around a chicken yard to be far too personal for human consumption. Worse yet, they might have gotten all fat from being injected in a yukky chicken coop cage (think the $6 job scene from Napoleon Dynamite & cringe).
Mercifully, all grocery stores now carry lines of organic, hormone- free (unidentifiable) chicken PARTS that have become my poultry mainstay. Granted, it's a little bit pricey & it would be worth every penny IF i could somehow marinate it & possibly even grill it to perfection..........instead, somehow, i consistently manage to produce all manner of chicken dinners that might be better crafted into bowling shoes..........uh, waffle fries or fruit cup with that 8-count nuggets? thank goodness it's not Sunday.
* Joansie's Rice-a-Roni Chicken Salad* (a Brock family staple since 1970 & standard "lake food" growing up)
2 (unrecognizable) chicken breasts -cooked & chopped
1 box chicken rice-a-roni, cooked & cooled
1 jar marinated artichoke hearts
1 small can sliced black slices
3 green onions, sliced
1/2 cup mayo
1/4 cup chopped green pepper
Mix all this stuff together & chill. It's really, really good! You can eliminate any of the ingredients that don't work for you, but I wouldn't advise it, though my kids like this with JUST the R-a-R & chicken & mayo-especially in their lunches!
- the Snackmom, who has missed blogging A LOT & plans to pick it up on a regular basis now that Ellen is almost in Costa Rica!
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